Duties and Responsibilities in the Family

Families are the cornerstones of society. A peaceful and healthy society depends on the soundness of families, and the soundness of families depends on the family members being conscious of their responsibilities and fulfilling them properly.

The institution of family, which has important duties in the continuation of the existence of society, has an imperative place in the protection of religious values of life, the preservation of national and individual existence, its development, continuity and transferring to future generations.

 For individuals, the family is both a protective force against the negative conditions of the external environment, as well as a teaching and guiding institute. Without a family, it is impossible for children to be born and grow up with mental and physical health, and to acquire a personality rich in moral values. A family is an indispensable institution for people to be productive, happy, and to protect their mental and physical health.

It is stated in Sūrah Rūm, āyah 21: “And one of His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find comfort in them. And he has placed between you compassion and mercy. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect.”

Undoubtedly, the first responsibility of such an important institution is to come together with a valid marriage, nikāh, that allows the spouses to legally unite, and to continue the married life without damaging the nikāh.

After that, it is for both parties to know and fulfil their responsibilities and duties. Love, which is expressed as the most important issue by many, is the fruit of the fulfilment of these duties.

So, what are these duties?

We can list the duties and responsibilities of the men as:

The husband should have good relations with his wife. In other words, he should be smiling, not sulky towards his wife, and should be gentle and not rude. For Allāh Ta‘ālā says “Treat them fairly. If you happen to dislike them, you may hate something which Allāh turns into a great blessing.”

He should turn a blind eye to his wife’s minor mistakes and ignore them. Rasūlullāh (sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said “A believing man should not detest his believing wife. If he does not like one manner of hers, he would be pleased with another.”

The external affairs of the house belongs to the husband. It is also the husband’s duty to provide for his wife’s alimony, clothing and needs that are not haram or wasteful. A man is one who protects, watches over and safeguards women.

In response to this, women should be contented and avoid putting their husbands in difficult situations with greed and extravagance.

Obeying their husband in legitimate affairs is also among the duties of wives. Rasūlullāh (sallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said “If a wife dies while her husband is pleased with her, she will enter Jannah.”

The wife should be clean, should try to meet her husband’s needs, protect her husband’s property and possessions, avoid acts that will disgrace her honour, and respect her husband’s relatives.

In addition, both husband and wife should refrain from revealing the secrets of their married life to others.

When the mercy and compassion of the husband and the loyalty and reverence of the wife comes together, true love occurs. Compassion ensures that the marriage continues in peace.